Here we go ...
The whole thing on brokenness really comes down to finding my identity. Who am I?
Like most guys I get identity from what I do. I am a pastor therefore I have certain expectations and rituals that pastors have. I am to be holy almost on the boarder of perfect. I must pray more, give more, understand more, and be the best husband. All of this behavior is unrealistic but I find my identity in all of this. Oh, it gets better. I am a pastor of a big church. That means so much more, at least in my mind. One problem, I left the big church to start over. I am now a nobody, a church planter. And to be honest I have lost my identity. That is the point of the brokenness. I fell into one of the oldest traps a Christ follower can fall into, I based who I am on what I do and not to whom I belong. I KNOW BETTER! None the less I got caught.
When I start thinking that I am what I do I negate the power of the cross and the new life Christ has placed in me. My identity is in Jesus. In Galatians 2:20 Paul says “My old self has been crucified with Christ It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” This has been one of my most quoted verses. But I forgot!
What has been the result? I feel worthless. I feel stupid. I feel like a failure. All of this is BULL. I belong to Jesus Christ. He is the one who defines me. I am His and He is mine. I know all of this but lately I have struggled. My struggle has affected everyone around me especially Tara. What do I do? Well, it is about who I am. I am Scott a child of God through Jesus Christ. That is enough.
Like most guys I get identity from what I do. I am a pastor therefore I have certain expectations and rituals that pastors have. I am to be holy almost on the boarder of perfect. I must pray more, give more, understand more, and be the best husband. All of this behavior is unrealistic but I find my identity in all of this. Oh, it gets better. I am a pastor of a big church. That means so much more, at least in my mind. One problem, I left the big church to start over. I am now a nobody, a church planter. And to be honest I have lost my identity. That is the point of the brokenness. I fell into one of the oldest traps a Christ follower can fall into, I based who I am on what I do and not to whom I belong. I KNOW BETTER! None the less I got caught.
When I start thinking that I am what I do I negate the power of the cross and the new life Christ has placed in me. My identity is in Jesus. In Galatians 2:20 Paul says “My old self has been crucified with Christ It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” This has been one of my most quoted verses. But I forgot!
What has been the result? I feel worthless. I feel stupid. I feel like a failure. All of this is BULL. I belong to Jesus Christ. He is the one who defines me. I am His and He is mine. I know all of this but lately I have struggled. My struggle has affected everyone around me especially Tara. What do I do? Well, it is about who I am. I am Scott a child of God through Jesus Christ. That is enough.
Labels: self leadership
posted by Scott Weatherford at
10:07 AM
2 Comments:
This post has been removed by the author.
By
David Maddux, At
April 10, 2008 12:29 PM
Dear Child of God,
First off, I love you dearly. Secondly, you are A CHILD OF GOD and your identity is not in a job or a role or in a church or anything other than you belong to Jesus Christ, that is where your identity "should be". But in reality, we all face identity crisis' and God slowly brings us back to the realization that our identity should be in Him and our eyes should be focused on Him.
If I keep my eyes on God, I won’t trip over my own feet. Ps 25:15
God has been speaking to me the last few weeks about what His ultimate will is for me (and really all Christians). "...and so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him (2 Cor 3:18). The Lord wants all of us to become more and more like Christ everyday. That should be our goal. Be renewed Scott, and continue (as you always have) to become more and more like Him everyday.
I will be in prayer for you and Tara.
In His Love,
David
By
David Maddux, At
April 10, 2008 12:34 PM
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