Some thoughts on change

I just returned from the panhandle (Northwest Florida). My mom is in an assisted living situation and is in failing health. My heart broke when she didn’t know me. I can’t express the grief I feel. There are some basic foundations in life and the love of your parents is one of the most important. My dad passed away eighteen month ago and now my mom doesn’t know who I am. I know countless others have experienced the same change but this is so very difficult. I feel my foundations are eroding. Tara has lost both of her parents and she has expressed the same emotions.
I have a few reflections regarding change and this season of life. Change is very difficult. What makes change so difficult is that there is no control. I can’t change the change that are happening in my family and that makes me afraid, unsettled, and pensive.
Change is very difficult on my children. My daughter, Calah, has had a hard time this thanksgiving. She stayed in Texas and we were here in Florida. She when back to Victoria where we lived for 15 years, she confessed that the change of us leaving Texas really shook her up. The relocation of her home and the sickness of her grandmother was a lot to manage. She feels displaced and disconnected.
Then there is the change of starting over. I am still struggling with what God wants from me in this second half. My changes have affected my whole family. All though I know that it was God who called me to start this new church and this new business, in this very difficult town and these very difficult days it is still very unsettling. There is no room in the Kingdom of God for regret so the decisions I have made must be confronted with the promises of God and the trust I have in His power and providence.
What I have found myself doing is leaning into Tara more and spending more time in prayer. My prayers are not the on your knees type of long hours of mediation but more of an ongoing conservation of desperation and seeking. I pour over scripture looking for guidance and cry out to God for answers. He says that went we seek Him we will be found by Him!
I can’t let the changes I am experience paralyze me into inactivity. I must keep seeking God’s vision and pursuing Him with passion that might appear to be reckless. There are days that I just want it all to go back to how it was, but that will never happen. I do believe that God has my best day ahead of me.
I do understand how life changes so I must depend on the God who doesn’t change. I have often preached on the immutability of God but now my theology is becoming my life. I think that’s what God wants. He wants me to trust Him and to not just know about Him. You really don’t believe until you live what you believe.

Spiritual lessons

I love my brother Stan! Well, I love all of my siblings. Stan is a pastor as well so our connection is different because of our shared calling. During these days of struggle he has been my pastor.
I called him yesterday to chat and he said some things about spiritual struggle that hit me in the heart. He said that I could be sure of the power and presence of God when being attacked by Satan. He said Satan would not bother if there was not threat of God’s kingdom expanding. God would use this season of struggle to strengthen my faith. I responded with all the honesty I could muster and said “what if my faith fails and I stop believing”. He said “it is not your faith; faith comes from God as a gift, so if it is not yours to begin with it is not yours to fail.” He added “Scott, because you belong to Jesus, He will sustain you even when you fail to believe. He will help your unbelief.” My life is not about me but about the Lord who rules and reigns in me! I can relax in the care and control of the one who gave Himself for me so that I might die to me and live for Him.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, here is my list…
• I am thankful for Jesus and His love, salvation, grace, and faithfulness
• I am thankful for Tara. She is my best and most trusted friend
• I am thankful for Caleb and Calah
• I am thankful for my extended family
• I am thankful for the call on my life to preach and lead
• I am thankful for FOTH and the chance to build lives in Tallahassee
• I am thankful for Brian, Jeremy, and our FOTH team!
• I am thankful that God is our provider. We have seen God rescue us several times this year.
• I am thankful that God never stops working on me
• I am thankful for my friends, who pray, give, encourage, and connect. Relationships make life rich!
Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Spiritual Lessons

Spiritual lesson are very difficult to learn. God uses stuff in our lives to shape our character but I struggle with what in the heck is He up too. I trust God completely but I wonder how much longer he will allow me to endure hardship and struggle. I am at a point of thinking that I can do more for God than I am doing but He is working on my character to get me to the point of “being His” as opposed to “doing His work”. Maybe the lesson is being learned. I am reminded that God will often hurt you deeply before He uses you greatly! Ouch!!
In light of all of this, we have experienced an amazing month at FOTH. 18 people have made next steps toward Jesus and our crowd has grown every week. God is moving in a big way. He is planting this church in Tallahassee for His glory. One of the most compelling things is how many “Christians” are discovering how much God really loves them and escaping the lie of the program, performance based church!
Just a side thought, last night I had a dream about being the mayor of Victoria Texas! In my dream I wondered if I could be a pastor and a mayor. Crazy dream!

Influence

I have been working on the book about my dad this week and it has been so very difficult. As I write I remember how amazing he was and I cry. I miss his influence so much.
I have heard it said that you impress from a distance but you influence up close. My dad was impressive but he chose to influence. He understood that leadership is influence (Plato). What has me stirred this morning is “who am I influencing?” “Who am I allowing access to my life?”
This week, I have watched as God has brought new people into His kingdom. Every one of these people who crossed the line of faith crossed because of the influence of a friend, every one! The influence of a trusted friend changed the eternal destiny of these folks. WOW!
As I go down this path of influence, I can’t help to think about pastors who think that isolation is leadership. They choose to only influence through their teaching. I can’t help but think “what the heck!” I have lead a church that had several thousand attending and I have lead a church with a few hundred. In both of these situations I had to not only preach the good news but give my life as well. (Paul) It gets messy when you allow people to access your life, so what! If you are going to lead, lead with your life or just stay out of the way. If you are a pastor remember God has not called you to be a “rock star” but a shepherd.
I have been working on the book about my dad and he knew that leadership was influence, thank God!

Ramdom thoughts

We men, we manly men, we get our identity from what we do. We wear our “this is what I do label” with pride and confidence. If we are not thrilled with our vocation then we label ourselves with an activity or a loyalty. We hunt, we fish, we are fans of some team, or whatever. We men, we manly men this is what we do.
Recently I have looked deeply at my labels. In the past I have been a pastor of a mega church, I have been a owner of a leadership consulting company, I have been a world traveler, I have been the catcher of fish, slayer of deer, hitter of softball, catcher of waves, and on it goes. But something is changing in me. God is showing me that I am the beloved. I am His and that replaces any label in which I can try to find my worth.
Don’t misunderstand me; I still love to do those things. I hope to do more of those really soon. But I am not an activity I am a son. What about you?

Reflections

Yesterday was amazing. We saw people trust Christ and once again the place was packed. God is moving in Tallahassee and through FOTH. Mondays aren’t so bad when people get right with Jesus!
We are moving to Lincoln High School in January! I can’t begin to express the joy and the gratitude I am experiencing. God has made this possible. He is the only one who could open these doors.
Join me in praying that God fills every seat in Lincoln (several times) and that Tallahassee comes to Christ. This season of planting the church has been a long hard one. I think that God is about to bring in the harvest!
We are spending the day in prayer and planning for 2009. This will be the year of breakthrough in you, for you, and through you! Yea God!!!

WTXL ABC 27 Tallahassee, Thomasville, Valdosta - Your Local News in HD | Search

WTXL ABC 27 Tallahassee, Thomasville, Valdosta - Your Local News in HD | Search

Here is the link for the interview I did yesterday!

Fitness

Ok, sit down! Today I am to be interviewed by a local TV station about fitness. Yes, fat boy on fitness. This is a part of the campaign to get the word out about Fitwize 4 Kids and the solution to the childhood obesity problem in America. I am excited about going on TV but I am somewhat insecure about talking about fitness at my size. I am sure God is getting a big laugh! (I can hear you laughing as well)
The segment airs at 5 on channel 27 in Tallahassee, so tune in. I hope this helps get the word out about Tara’s gym and the solution to kids and their need for healthy lifestyles!

This week-end

What a week-end! Fellowship of the Hills was packed yesterday with lots of new faces and lots of excitement. Brian did a great job speaking on serving. It was a good day.
Tara opened the gym this week-end. After several months of planning, praying, preparation, perspiration, and perseverance we opened. Fitwize 4 Kids is now a part of the Tallahassee landscape providing healthy lifestyles of children ages 6-15. We had lots of kids and their parents come check us out and we expect lots of kids to connect with Fitwize. Our coaches were amazing and every kid got the special attention they needed.
God put a dream in Tara’s heart about helping children and now that dream is becoming reality. Pray that God will fill up the place for His glory and so we can pay the bills.
There are several things that have me excited right now …
• Fellowship of the Hills is moving to Lincoln High School in January. I am challenging folks at FOTH to fill the empty seat during January at Lincoln.
• I sense a groundswell of college students who are not only making FOTH their home but who a willing to plant this kind of church when their time in Tallahassee is done
• Tara’s gym. It is really our gym but she is the lead and I am supporting her. This commitment we have made to this business reveals our commitment to this city
• People are trusting Christ. Every week we are seeing people making the next steps to Jesus. That’s why we started FOTH. Hell is real and God has provided an escape through the cross of Christ. I would rather us be more focused on people finding Jesus than any other thing!
• The Book about my dad. In every spare moment I have been writing about my father. The book is called Hero and I would love for you to read it. E-mail me if you are interested. I have three more chapters to write and then I will try to find a publisher.
• The big idea. I can’t go into details but I have a vision about really helping people grow in their spiritual commitments.
• Helping other churches and organizations. The last few weeks have been filled with opportunities to consult and help advance God’s kingdom. It feels good to serve God this way.
Because of the high level of work these past few weeks I have not blogged much, so I promise to do better. Stay tuned for more of what God is doing in, for, and through me…us for His glory!

I couldn't sleep at all!

A few nights ago I woke with a big idea. For me to wake up is a big deal. When I go to sleep, I go to sleep. But I woke up with some ideas about helping churches establish healthy pathways to become more like Christ. This thought overwhelmed me so I began to write down all the stuff that I felt God leading me to write.
After about an hour I went back to bed. It was 2:54. I looked at the clock and felt the Lord whisper 2:54 a scripture reference. I thought, “What scripture is 2:54”. So I got back up and got my bible. I began looking for 2:54 and found nothing. Then I turned to the book of Isaiah and thought 54:2. I looked up that passage to find the same passage that God used in William Cary’s life to launch the modern missionary movement.
As I reflected on what I read I thought about William Cary. He made shoes and was a big nobody. But God used that big nobody to move a generation of believers to go to the dark corners of the earth and preach the gospel. Because a cobbler heard the voice of God nations were brought to Christ.
I think God is up to something big and He is speaking to a “nobody” preacher in Tallahassee. Please pray for me that I might hear from God and then have the courage to follow Him.
Tara opens her gym, Fitwize 4 Kids, this Saturday. If you live in Tallahassee drop by and see us, 2915 Kerry Forest Parkway (behind the Bank of Tallahassee). We are excited and nervous. We are praying that God will use this business to build lives that honor Him.